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okcupid   Image Posted Apr.2nd, 2020, viewed 1375 times

Things to Know About Getting a Slovenian Woman to Talk FEELINGS

Well, one of the last times my soldier and I had any sort of “talk” (mind you, over the phone from 6000 miles away) I emailed you a manslation. I was totally baffled. Then I realized that he was spewing off things that other girls had done in the past. The difference was I DIDN’T REACT TO IT. At least while I was on the phone with him. I had to sort it out in my head first before I could realize that he was only speaking from past fears that had nothing to do with me.

He emailed me about it the next day and said (and I will quote from his email):

“I am predisposed to expecting Slovenian women to act overly emotional and irrational when I express my feelings, so I don’t express my feelings in order to avoid the ordeal. Most men do the same. We’d rather not address it than put up with crying and associated irrational behavior from a woman who’s not listening to us, not validating us and who’s more concerned with her own feelings than with our feelings what we’re trying to communicate to her. So, it was nice that I was able to tell you my feelings and have you listen and not overreact. Thank you for that. ”

Now he initiated the conversation. But still, I think the secret is letting a guy say whatever they want about it and not taking it personally. Perhaps they just need to say it out loud in order to sort through their feelings? We’ve grown closer since that initial conversation. Maybe he feels more comfortable having these discussions with me because of it.

Great advice Jeff. And I completely agree with #1. I think sometimes, if we have an expectation of what we want to hear, we need to be aware of it before we ask someone their feelings. If we expect something, we may be disappointed.

For me, this is the most difficult part about dating & trying to build a relationship with a wrong guy. “The Talk” usually happens around the 3 month mark & in my experience has never had a positive outcome, unless the guy initiates it. I’ve learned that if you “have to ask” a guy where you stand, you’re probably not going to like what you hear.

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